Why We Find Emotionally Unavailable People Attractive

Games In Love
5 min readApr 16, 2024


Being in a relationship with someone unreliable, unpredictable, and has a need to keep them on edge and in a state of uncertainty will not appeal to certain people. It might only be a matter of time before they walk away if they were in this situation, Why We find emotionally unavailable people attractive.

Being with someone like this is like providing dark chocolate to someone who can’t take it they’ll turn it down. They will make a rapid decision that will allow them to walk away.

Why Do I Attract Mentally Unstable People

1) Someone like this may have previously been associated with some persons who were not mentally or emotionally healthy. It may not take them long to notice whether another person is like this as a result of this.

As a result, it may not take them long to determine whether or not another person is healthy, keeping them from becoming involved with someone who isn’t. Perhaps they’ve had to put in a lot of effort to get to this position.

Why Do I Attract Crazy People

2) A Mindful Process, If this is the case, they will not have simply lost interest in being with someone like this it will have taken some time and effort. Perhaps one realized that they were not just randomly encountering people like this, but that they were also a part of the situation.

It would have been evident then that they were the common denominator, not just observers of what was happening. Getting to this point may have harmed their ego in the short term, but in the long run, it would have benefited their inner self.

Note — There are a variety of reasons why we find emotionally unavailable people appealing, and many of them have nothing to do with the emotionally unavailable person themselves.

For example, if we’ve been injured before, we may be afraid of experiencing the same type of grief again, or we may not feel comfortable completely opening up to someone and having them reciprocate an intimate bond. Maybe you don’t want to commit to someone unconsciously.

Why do I Attract Mentally Unstable People?

3) A Struggle, the kind of comments they received from their friends and relatives may have made this process more difficult than it needed to be. These folks may have informed them that they were merely bystanders, with no involvement in the events.

If this was the case, and they had agreed to this point of view, they would not have been able to proceed further. Instead, the ‘out there’ people would have had to change, preventing them from doing anything about this aspect of their lives.

Why Do I Attract Crazy People

4) Another Adventure, on the other hand, there will be those who aren’t interested in these types of people yet haven’t been able to get to the next level. Someone like this might have been in a relationship that wasn’t healthy.

They may feel that now that they are single, they will need some time to heal from everything they have been through. They may, however, discover that a part of them still pines for the person they were with.

Note — Low self-esteem typically goes hand in hand with unhealthy fantasizing. You imagine a life with someone emotionally available, someone you can’t have.

You may imagine a great relationship and life with this unavailable person in your thoughts and enjoy the illusion without putting out the effort required to make a real relationship work. There isn’t even a chance of a genuine relationship.

Psycho Relationship Problems

5) An Odd Situation, this isn’t the first time they’ve had this experience, as they’ve had it before when they split up with someone like this. Part of them will then realize that their ex is unhealthy, while the other will want to be with them.

If they are aware of this and do not become involved, they will be able to ensure that they do not contact them again. However, if they want to see their ex again is strong enough, they may find that it is only a matter of time before they return.

Why Am I So Crazy In Relationships

6) Confusion, if this does not happen, and they wind up with someone who is not emotionally unpredictable, they may become bored. They’ll have what they want someone dependable, steady, and doesn’t play games, for example, but they won’t be able to accept them.

They may have told themselves and their pals that they wanted someone different before this happened. It can be difficult for them to understand why they are feeling this way.

Why Do I Attract Broken People

7) A Closer Look, it will be evident that someone like this is suffering a lot of inner struggle based on how they go about their daily lives. They would have no desire to be with someone who is not beneficial for them if their inner environment was more peaceful.

The small part of them that doesn’t want to be with someone like this will be ignored by the larger portion who does. This could indicate that being with someone like this is comfortable, and hence related to what is safe on a deeper level.

Being Unavailable Is Attractive

8) A Misaligned Relationship, when you’re in a relationship with someone who’s all over the place and you never know where you stand with them, you might get a rush from it. This could be related to the release of adrenaline due to them being in fight or flight mode.

This adrenaline will make them feel alive, and it will be something their brain and body yearn for. On a deeper level, feeling on edge and experiencing adrenaline is what is associated with love.

Attracted To Emotionally Unavailable

9) Return to the Past, it may seem unusual that someone would associate this with love, after all, this isn’t what love is about. This could indicate that their early years were spent in an unsafe atmosphere.

Perhaps one of their caregivers harmed them in some way, in which case they would have been in fight or flight mode and their system would have been overwhelmed with adrenaline.

These events would have traumatized them, yet what they went through would have become associated with what their unconscious mind is familiar with. To this group, what is familiar is what is considered safe, regardless of the circumstances.

Why Do I Like Emotionally Unavailable Guys

Awareness, and recreating what they went through as a youngster in their adult years will also help them to come to terms with what happened. Nonetheless, one must be able to connect the dots, so to speak, and work through their inner wounds for this to happen.

Note — It’s critical to be able to identify when someone is emotionally unavailable. Examine your interactions with them and look for warning indicators.

If they’ve stated unequivocally that they don’t want to be in a relationship or that they don’t have the capacity for one night believe them rather than hoping or trying to persuade them otherwise. You’ll save a significant amount of time.

Why We find emotionally unavailable people attractive, comments at Games in love.



Games In Love

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